Riding The Horse

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty nervous around horses. They're very big, and they are (as far as I'm concerned) very unpredictable. I've heard horror stories of people who got kicked by horses, and I'm pretty much soured on them. But it occurred to me this evening that managing the caveman within each of us is very much like riding a horse. First you have to tame him, then you can take him wherever you please.

Think of our primal tendencies as the horse. When unsaddled and unbroken, the horse does pretty much what he wants, according to his natural proclivities - he seeks safety, food, and sex, and not necessarily in that order. And he's big, which means he's due a wide berth when he's got a head of steam for something. Our goal as enlightened cavemen (and women) is to contain the horse, to control it. This is not unlike the process of breaking a wild mustang.

I have long believed that the human populations (in Africa or the Middle East, for example) that fare the worst in life are dominated by people who are driven exclusively by unbroken horses. Ancient emotions run wild - the quest for status, the indignation and enmity that come from reciprocal altruism unfulfilled, the in-group versus out-group mentality, the male urge to spread his seed far and wide, the willingness to believe falsehood if it supports any of the aforementioned, all of it. The horse lacks the benefit of a harness that is held by a rational, big-picture thinker. But, lest we miss a critical component of this concept, the thinker is not enough.

Were we jockeys without horses, we would be largely unfit for purpose. The thinker would be deprived of the chief instrument of his plans. Indeed, the thinker is never as good at finding shelter, food, and sex as the horse is. No, the horse is essential. He brings with him the courage, the strength, and the resolve to execute the visions of the thinker, even the most primitive of visions. So the first task is to harness the horse, to control him, and a daunting task it is.

The choice of the horse as the embodiment of the caveman mentality is not arbitrary. It is precisely the juxtaposition of power and unpredictability that make the horse the obvious choice. We cannot simply lasso him and expect him to submit. We have to convince him that he cannot win. Fortunately, the rich history of our species is replete with examples from which we can draw our confidence as horse breakers. So long as the horse believes that we are in control, he is ours to do with what we will. And still, it is not easy.

The unpredictability of our horse, even when broken, limits our options. If he gets spooked by dogs, we cannot expect his submission to override this. We must extend our thinking to include accounting for his quirks, for at least he is predictably unpredictable - he won't spook for nothing, but when he does, there's no telling what he'll do. So the thinker gets to know his horse. He gets to know what spooks him and what soothes him so he can guide him gingerly around the obstacles that promote unpredictability. This is our task, and as with any worthwhile task, the rewards are manifest.

When we tame the horse, when we control the horse, we can ride him. We can find a delicate (but durable) balance between our big-picture designs and his power to achieve them. We can steer him around interpersonal conflicts that back him into a corner, but, when options evaporate, a few heels to the hindquarters are all it takes to spur him into action. This is what I'm after. This is what we should all be after - a tame horse that can be unleashed at will. Luckily, this is all figurative. No matter how much I may like this analogy, don't look for me on a horse any time soon.

The Publishing Biz - Episode 7 - Back to the Drawing Board

Well, dear readers, it's time to face facts. One or more of the following statements is true with regard to my book:

1. It sucks
2. I am not publishable as a self-help author

I shudder to think that number 1 is the reason I have been unable to get an agent or a book deal. However, at this point, my book has been read (at least some of it) by about 25 people, and only four or five have really enjoyed it. More importantly, I've distributed PDF copies of the manuscript to visitors of this site who have requested them by email. In all cases, my only request was that they get back to me with feedback - positive or negative. Nothing. Not one response. So, I can only conclude that these people either didn't like the book or, worse yet, couldn't even get into it enough to know if they'd like it. Sure, one or two may have loved it but never got around to telling me so, but more than ten? Methinks something is up. And then there's the publishing community.

My last sortie into enemy territory consisted of attendance at a West Coast writer's conference, a conference that had quite a few reputable non-fiction agents on hand. I delivered my well-honed pitch and showed off my attractive cover to anyone who would listen. I was asked to send a proposal to seven agents. Yippee! Much better than the year before. "Your concept is really fresh, and it sounds like you've got a solid promotion plan." Head in the stars, I left California and returned to execute the formalities of becoming a published author.

Proposals went out, and form-letter rejections came in, so fast that I wondered if Uncle Sam is now outsourcing to FedEx. All but one rejected me outright. One nice guy actually scrawled some notes on the letter - something like, "Good concept. Your platform needs work." (Lesson Learned: what agents and publishers say means nothing. Add them to the pile.) The remaining agent called me and told me he wanted to represent me at the upcoming Book Expo America conference in NYC. Yippee! I was on my way. Alas, as I am businessman at heart, I know better than to do a deal without doing my homework.

I didn't much like the Kinko's-looking business card this guy gave me, but I thought, "Hey, it's not about the card if this guy has the right connections." So I drilled him a bit via email. Who have you represented? Who do you know at what publishing houses? And so on. After all, I'm not going to the dance with some turd on my arm, right? Nothing. He never returned my email. So here I am.

What to do? What to do? I'm not into self-publishing (click here to read why), so I have a problem. I am committed to the ideas that underpin this site and my book. I truly believe that vast numbers of people would be happier if they understood more about themselves and their internal motivations. I just have to find some vehicle to find out if I'm right. Clearly, a non-fiction book isn't the answer, at least not right now. So I have to find another way, and I have.

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I am going to write a fiction book that delivers my non-fiction message, something not unlike Pirsig's, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, at least in terms of format and intentions (hopefully, in terms of success). Thanks to Ian over at Psybertron for recommending I give Pirsig a look. The bad news is that this site is going to grind to a crawl while I get this done. But fear not, illuminated cave-people.

I'm toying with some method of disclosing bits and pieces of the story as I write it. At first thought, this seems preeminantly ill-advised. I am a bit of a word sculptor, which means that I initially create this blob of an idea and then hone it down to something recognizable. Is it wise for me to open the Kimono so early in the process? Would those who think me somewhat competent at conveying ideas come to an altogether different opinion if I do? These are tough questions, and it will be a while before I can answer. For now, I'll try to post something relevant as often as possible. I may turn this into a meta-blog for a while, just dissemanting information I find interesting and related to my theme. Honestly, I don't really know how this is going to play out. Anyone got any ideas? Alice, want to take the helm? Or maybe I should let the Koran-crapping Freedomslave have at it. Decisions. Decisions.

In closing, let me leave you with the story idea for my fiction book.

A 24 year old college grad, recently downsized from corporate America, takes to the road to pursue his vision of freedom. He and his three friends pack up a VW van and follow the jam band, Phish, on a cross country tour that puts them in situations that force them to confront their understanding of themselves, the world, and what it means to be free. It's the movie, Road Trip, meets All The Pretty Horses (if you haven't read it, shame on you.)

No, this is not autobiographical. But I will say that I am not unfamiliar with what goes down in this environment. If anyone knows of any fiction that is similar to what I'm doing, do let me know. I will shamelessly rip off anyone to achieve my goals.

Until...